Inside this recent live session, we explored a theme that so many of us have struggled with for years: how to choose ourselves without apologizing, spiraling, or fearing we’ll lose connection.
What we uncovered together was powerful: Not only why choosing ourselves feels scary, but what that fear is really trying to protect inside of us.
We got to the root of the fear, identified how old that part of us is, and the unmet needs underneath it. Then we moved through an inner child healing to tend to that part of us and create more peace and safety.
Choosing yourself isn’t selfish. It’s actually the most responsible and loving thing you can do, because when you abandon yourself…
you become resentful
you lose your voice
you overextend
you shut down
you get anxious or reactive
But when you choose yourself without panic, guilt, or defensiveness…
you become more kind
more honest
more available
more connected
That’s the paradox of healing. I know it feels like choosing yourself will hurt people, but it actually makes you show up more loving. It feels like taking care of you means abandoning others, when really it lets you be more honest, more present, and more available. The thing you were scared would push people away is actually what brings more closeness and safety into your relationships.
A simple and practical takeaway you can use right now
If you’re afraid to choose yourself, ask: “If I choose myself, what am I afraid will happen?”
Then go deeper: “And if that happens, what am I making it mean about me?”
Just doing this one thing can start changing your relationships because when you understand what’s underneath the fear, you stop people-pleasing, you stop spiraling, and you start choosing yourself in a way that actually deepens connection instead of damaging it.
What you’ll experience when you watch the replay
Inside the replay we:
explore what’s underneath the fear of being “selfish” or “wrong”
identify how old that part of you that olds the fear is
find where that lives in your body
validate that younger part of you with compassion
create a safe place for them to feel protected
release the old burden they’ve been holding
integrate their wisdom into your adult life
You will walk away feeling softer, clearer, more regulated, and less alone.
Who this replay supports the most
This session will be especially supportive if you:
fear conflict and avoid expressing your needs
stay quiet to keep the peace
feel guilty when you take up space
think “choosing myself makes me selfish”
worry about hurting others
over-function and then resent it
spiral after decisions instead of feeling grounded
Watch this replay + all past masterclasses
If you’re a paid subscriber, you have access to:
this replay
all past masterclasses and live recordings
our private community chat
weekly shadow work prompts
monthly live guided sessions like this one
You can explore all the past replays and masterclasses here.
If you want to join us…
If you’re feeling drawn to this work, I’d love to have you in our community!
When you join as a paid subscriber, you’ll get instant access to this replay (and all the others), plus the masterclass library and our private chat.
It’s such a sweet place to land, and I would be honored to support you there!
