It was in that moment I felt the most alone

Global Ancestral Womb Healing Council 🌹 Mark your calendars, babes!

Jan 26, 2024

The Global Ancestral Womb Healing Council is a FREE two-day Online Summit with a Council of 13 Mentors sharing the roots of Womb Wisdom so you can deepen and heal your connection with your ancestry, the earth, and the cosmos to liberate generational trauma and give birth to your soul’s purpose and desires with unshakeable trust…in sisterhood💫

When Numana Joy (Allie McFee) reached out to me to be a part of this council it was a a clear FUCK YES in my body. I have spent the past four years working with my maternal ancestors, healing the grief, fear, pain, abuse, and trauma that the women before me experienced and were unable to process.

I come from a lineage of strong women, all of whom have experienced sexual abuse and trauma during their childhoods at the hands of men in our family. Unfortunately, my own story would follow a similar path. Throughout my childhood I experienced sexual abuse from my father, a betrayal and rejection that I could not fully understand, and so I numbed and disassociated. Later, after reaching my limit of pain endured, I finally told my mom at 14. I had no idea that the pain would then become excruciating. My plea for her to not tell my dad what I told her went unheard, and she called him at work immediately.

It was in that moment I felt the most alone. The two people who were meant to protect me and keep me safe were unable to.

I felt abandoned, rejected, and betrayed… something I would come to unconsciously seek out in my romantic relationships. I found myself in relationships with people who mirrored the abandonment and rejection I felt as a child, and I would shape-shift or change myself to be loved. Unknowingly, I was desperately trying to reconcile and heal the parts of me that feared abandonment.

I had forgiven my parents, but it wasn’t until I was 30 years old that I would come to realize just how much my unresolved trauma from childhood was plaguing my life and relationships. I had created codependent patterns and tendencies like people-pleasing, dysfunctional boundaries, and constantly holding myself responsible for other people’s feelings and emotions.

I was an adult and not really sure who I was, or what my purpose was and I will never forget when it all shifted for me. It was in the middle of an acid trip, sitting on my hands and knees in my shower. I felt like there was this black seed in my womb space (at the time I didn’t even have a relationship to my womb), and I had to get it out.

It was like a foreign object, something that was not mine, but was passed down to me. It felt lifetimes old.

And it was lifetimes old. For over five generations the women on my moms side of the family had their autonomy and innocence stripped from them. And for generations they stayed silent, repressing and shoving down the pain and grief of their trauma. I knew I had a choice, and I chose for it to end with me.

It wasn’t much longer after that event that I found myself driving to work one morning and I declared, “I am ready to step into my soul’s purpose, I am ready to step into what I am meant to do in this lifetime.”

Let’s just say, my prayer was answered, but it got much, much worse before it got better. My relationship of four years dissolved. I got into a “situationship” that was toxic AF, leading me into some spiritual psychosis that had me obsessive over the language of “twin flame” and believing that this was “my person.”

And to be honest, he was such a gift to my life. We were complete opposites. I leaned more on the anxious attachment side and he leaned towards avoidant. This was the perfect recipe to bring up all my unresolved trauma. It was like having a magnifying glass on all my trauma responses and toxic patterns.

When this person went into “no contact” periods of time, this lead me into a spiral where I had no where to go, but inward. I started meditating and journaling more, which led me to seeing just how much my childhood trauma was actually affecting how I was showing up in my life and relationships.

I was constantly grasping for validation, praise, and love from others.

I was simultaneously hyper-independent, thinking I needed to do and be everything. In my core I lacked self-trust and confidence, even though I had the façade of a strong, independent woman. It was certainly a paradox that took a lot of time and curiosity to unravel.

After over a year of doing deep shadow work, inner child healing, getting out of the situationship vortex, tending to my womb space, releasing trauma, and stepping into a peaceful and safe space I laid under my window, eyes closed, and both of my hands on my womb. It was a dark and cloudy day, with the rain in a torrential downpour.

I felt my ancestors, the women that came before me, and my star family (Pleiades) surround me. I heard, “Your soul’s purpose is to heal the mother wound.”

I had never even heard “mother wound” before this meditation. I quickly jumped up and grabbed my journal and wrote down: “What is the mother wound?” It was like it flowed out of me, pages and pages speaking to how the mother wound is directly correlated with codependency— something I had spend the last year unraveling.

The mother wound can show up if we didn’t get the love, care, or protection that we needed and deserved when we were children, and codependent patterns are created from this place.

This does not mean that our parents or mothers were unloving or uncaring, it just means that there was likely a moment where these needs had gone unmet and that part of you is frozen in time and is still trying to reconcile that experience. We begin placing our worth and good feelings about ourselves on someone or something outside of ourselves, which is how I have come to define codependency.

When we begin to heal the mother wound and tend to our womb space, we learn how to go within, rather than seeking answers outside of ourselves. This brings forward our most authentic expressions of self. When we heal our womb space and work with our ancestors, we begin to release old patterns and fears that our ancestors used to keep them safe— and we start stepping into our power. I have learned that working with my ancestral lineage brings me closer to my intuitive gifts, and shows me the direction I am meant to go in this lifetime.

What once felt muddied and heavily influenced by others has become like a clear channel, easeful and divinely guided.

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

About the Global Ancestral Womb Healing Council 🌹

When you’re rooted in your visions… you move from questioning or waiting for life to happen, and YOU put your life in MOTION!

You get to...

Own your power
Listen to stories of embodied womb wisdom leaders
Clear your womb from energetic and emotional debris
Liberate your creative energy to birth your visions

You CAN do this babe, and this council is here to support you.

I see you, you know you are meant to create more. You don’t need to dim your light around others. Because you desire it, it means it’s possible. And this council is here to help you REMEMBER that.

Open up to more prosperity while living your purpose. Feel deliciously connected to your womb and sensual expression. Believe in yourself and break sabotaging patterns. You are the ancestor paving the way for the blessings your descendants will receive.

You are your ancestors' prayer.

Discover your personal ancestry, the wounds that keep your magic dormant
Learn ancestral wisdom of the cosmos, as the starseed you are on a divine earthly mission
And dive deeper into your womb wisdom, unlocking the power to birth your legacy