How to meet your shadow self

Shadow work is the activism the world needs right now

Happy Wednesday babes! In today’s newsletter you’ll read about…

🖤 How shadow work is an act of activism

🖤 What happens when you start meeting your shadow self

🖤 Where you can find your shadow self

📖 How to Meet Your Shadow Self

What drew me to Jungian theory and shadow work was that it deeply aligned with my core beliefs and values of bringing our work inward. I had spent the majority of my life focusing outwardly and trying to get other people to see why they needed to care, heal, advocate, etc. It was my way of trying to control in a world that felt out of control and I realized it was also my way of avoiding the shadow aspects of myself.

If people observe their own unconscious tendencies in other people, this is called a “projection”. Political agitation in all countries is full of such projections, just as much as the backyard gossip of little groups and individuals. Projections of all kinds obscure our view of our fellow men, spoiling all possibility of genuine human relationships. The result is that we shall constantly (though involuntarily) do things behind our own backs that support this other side, and thus we shall unwittingly help our enemy. If, on the contrary, we realize the projection and can discuss matters without fear and hostility, dealing with the other person sensibly, then there is a chance of mutual understanding or at least of a truce. - Carl G. Jung

I have learned that meeting our shadow selves is an act of activism.

Bringing the unconscious aspects of ourselves forward and holding them with curiosity, compassion, and love lessens the projections that continue to oppress and keep our collective in separation. We are a microcosm of the macrocosm, so when I feel pain, sadness, or anger with what I see around me I go within and ask: Where does this live within me?

The shadow aspects of myself are the parts of me that judges, compares, hates, and experiences envy (to name a few). When I began to fully embrace these parts of me and hold them with unconditional love they softened and I experienced more peace and contentment in my life and relationships. When I would repress these parts of me they only got louder and bigger, and I would find myself projecting onto the ones closest to me. This led me to continuously feeling alone, isolated, and depressed.

Jung speaks about coming into wholeness: a state of completion of the human soul that comes from psychological awareness, self-knowledge, and self-acceptance.

Our shadow is the repressed aspect of our personality. It’s the part of us that our ego deems as unpleasant or unattractive. Shadow aspects of ourselves are usually unconscious (not known to you), until you bring them into consciousness. The more conscious we become of these parts the less they run the show without our knowing.

It was through meeting the shadow aspects of myself that I began to experience more confidence, peace, and love for not just myself but the world around me.

I had to learn how to fully embrace the parts of me that judged, blamed, or felt victimized by my circumstances. I had to learn how to take radical personal responsibility and see where my projections were really just a way for me to override meeting myself more deeply.

For me the most powerful tool in learning about my shadow self has been curiosity. Staying curious keeps your heart open, and can ease the ego (even if only just slightly).

I’m leaving journal prompts for meeting your shadow self under 📝 Get Curious AF.

1. Self-Reflection: Set aside time to bring curiosity to your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Consider situations that trigger strong reactions or emotions within you. Ask yourself why certain aspects of your personality might make you uncomfortable or evoke a strong response. This process of self-awareness is will support you in identifying potential elements of your shadow self.

2. Journal: Write about your experiences and any recurring patterns that you notice in your thoughts and behaviors. This will help you uncover patterns and themes of your shadow self. Try to be as honest and open in your writing as possible, allowing your thoughts and feelings to flow without judgment.

3. Embrace & Integrate: Once you've identified aspects of your shadow self, approach them with acceptance and compassion by asking: What does this part of me need, from me? Instead of suppressing or rejecting these aspects, try to integrate them into your conscious awareness. This doesn't mean approving of negative behaviors, but rather acknowledging and understanding the underlying emotions and motivations.

Remember that your shadow self holds wisdom and insights for your personal growth. Embracing these aspects allows you to remember your wholeness and authenticity.

🙏🏾Quote of the Week 

We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses. - Carl G. Jung

📝Get Curious AF: Where You Can Find Your Shadow Self

1. Where are you blaming others? The tendency to blame others often resides in the shadow self because it allows us to avoid taking responsibility for our own actions and emotions. By projecting blame onto others, we protect ourselves from confronting uncomfortable truths about our own contributions to a situation.

2. Where are you judging others? Judging others can be a reflection of our own insecurities and unacknowledged shortcomings. The shadow self tends to project these internal struggles onto others, creating a false sense of superiority or control as a defense mechanism against facing our own perceived inadequacies.

3. What flaws do you point out in others? Pointing out flaws in others may be a way for the shadow self to divert attention away from its own perceived weaknesses. By hyper-focusing on the shortcomings of others, we avoid confronting and addressing our own vulnerabilities and areas for personal growth.

4. Where are you playing the victim? Playing the victim can be a manifestation of the shadow self seeking sympathy or external validation. This allows us to avoid taking agency over our lives and making necessary changes. The victim role becomes a shield against facing the discomfort of personal accountability and the empowerment that comes with it.

🎙️New Episodes on Codependency Alchemy: The Podcast

1. Reclaiming My Inner Child

2. How Resentment Ruins Relationships

3. How to Regulate Your Nervous System When You’re Fighting with Your Partner

🌟Other Goodies

• I recently did an interview with Maria on her podcast Don't Rush Me where we talked about triggers and exploring our attachments so that you can have more ease in your life and relationships. Maria is a lawyer for healers and soul-driven coaches and owner of The Legal Apothecary. You can listen on Spotify, or Apple Podcasts.

• Jenny Lee, a dear friend and soul sister has a beautiful offer coming up next month that I would love to share with you all! Truth Training is a holistic training that guides you, lovingly, back into your power, your truth, and your body so that you can live a purposeful life filled with meaningful relationships where your voice is celebrated and used as a tool to create the fulfilling life you long for, and deserve. Her work is profound, and definitely worth checking out! (this is an affiliate link✨)

  📅Mark your calendar! Our January Substack Meetup for paid subscribers is on Wednesday, January 3rd at 1PM (PST).

🎥This weeks podcast episode 

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📩Upcoming Newsletter for The Membership: Intention Setting (Do This Before the New Year!)

This Friday, paid subscribers get an exclusive practice that is perfect for coming into the New Year, by diving into:

• The common missing pieces of manifestation work

• Discovering what opportunities and experiences are ready to come into your life

• Uncovering what needs to be released in order to make space for what you’re wanting to manifest in your life