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8 lessons that changed my relationships forever

Are you tired of doing all the work in your relationship—or wondering why healing still feels so triggering, even with a good partner? In this raw and honest episode of Codependency Alchemy, I share the eight biggest lessons I’ve learned in my 30s that completely transformed how I show up in love. From fixating on my partner’s healing journey to weaponizing my love language, to learning how to hold two truths without needing to be “right”—this episode is packed with the hard-earned wisdom I wish I had a decade ago. Whether you’re in a relationship or healing after one, these lessons will meet you exactly where you are.

This episode is for you if:

  • You keep trying to “fix” your partner instead of tending to yourself.

  • You’re struggling with space, boundaries, or unmet needs.

  • You want to stop reacting from fear and start responding with clarity.

  • You’re ready to take accountability without shame.

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I used to think I needed him to heal like me in order to feel safe. But what I’ve learned is that real safety doesn’t come from control, it comes from self-responsibility. The moment I stopped outsourcing my peace and started meeting my own needs first, everything shifted. Because at the end of the day, healthy relationships aren’t trigger-free. They’re spaces where you feel safe enough to explore your triggers with curiosity—not shame.


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Other resources noted in this episode:

The Breakup That Healed Me Episode

The Situationship Episode

Needs, Wants, and Desires Episode

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