When we have experienced abusive relationships, it can be challenging to trust ourselves and others. I remember feeling betrayed by myself, like how could I allow myself to be in something so toxic for so long? If I didn’t know better then, how could I trust myself to know better in the future?
Here are some things we discuss in this weeks episode that will hopefully help you in understanding this pattern of struggling to trust after abuse:
Our lack of trust often comes from deep-seated parts of ourselves that were trying to protect us in the past, even if those beliefs no longer serve us. Doing shadow work and inner child healing can help heal the root cause.
Fears around failure, vulnerability, and loss of control are common, stemming from not feeling safe or in charge of our lives for so long. These fears can manifest as people-pleasing, perfectionism, or sabotage.
Healing involves getting to know the wounded parts of ourselves, understanding their perspective, and inviting them into a new role or “job” where they support our growth instead of protecting us from what they are perceiving as threats.
It's a process of staying present with uncomfortable feelings like waiting for the other shoe to drop instead of distracting ourselves, and choosing environments and relationships where we can feel safe being fully seen— and that starts with us seeing ourselves.
Shadow Work
Here is the shadow work prompt we explored in this episode:
“If I trust (this person/the good things that are happening), then…?” (what are you afraid will happen?)
Let me know in the comments if you also had a response or reflection from the shadow work question that Isa explored!
And just a friendly reminder!
Codependency Alchemy: The Course is only $25 for the whole month of May! If you have been considering grabbing the self-paced course, now is a great time to save and get more support on your healing codependency journey!
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