When someone you love pulls away, what happens inside of you?
Maybe you immediately feel rejected. Unimportant. Abandoned. Not good enough. Maybe you become afraid they’re never coming back.
But what happens when we go underneath their behavior and get curious about everything we’ve made that behavior mean about us?
That’s what we’re practicing together in this month’s Shadow Work + Inner Child Healing session.
We start with one question:
If they pull away, what am I making it mean about me?
And then we keep going…
Because underneath they’re pulling away might be I’m not important.
Underneath I’m not important might be I’m not worthy of love.
And underneath that might be a much younger part of you who has been carrying this fear for a very long time. In the live, members followed these fears all the way down to beliefs about being alone, unworthy, unsafe, rejected, or even feeling like they are “nothing” without the relationship.
This practice isn’t about getting the other person to stop pulling away.
It’s about learning how to stay with yourself when they do.
In this session, we’ll practice:
An energy hygiene practice to help you come back into your body
The shadow work question that helps uncover what’s underneath your push/pull dynamic
Creating an internal safe place for your inner child
Choosing one tangible thing you can do today to begin meeting that need yourself
Learning how to return to this part of yourself the next time the pattern inevitably shows up
And I especially love that last piece. The goal isn’t to do this practice so perfectly that you never feel abandoned, rejected, afraid, or activated again.
The patterns will show up.
The thoughts will come back.
The difference is that now, when they do, you know where to go.
What I hope you walk away with: Their distance doesn’t have to become your abandonment of yourself.
Every time the fear comes up, there is an opportunity to turn toward the part of you that is afraid and become the person who stays. That’s the practice where true healing lives.
Resources mentioned in this live
This months theme post on push/pull dynamics
Spirit Animal Journey/Meditation
Energy Hygiene Meditation
Join our Codependency Alchemy membership
This community of over 500 members (and growing every day!) is where we move from understanding the pattern to actually tending to the part of you living inside of it.
Inside the full session, I’ll guide you through the shadow work and inner child practice we do together every month inside Codependency Alchemy.
You’ll leave with a deeper understanding of what you’re actually afraid of when someone pulls away, the younger part of you carrying that fear, and one tangible way you can begin giving that part of yourself what they’ve been asking someone else to provide.
Join the Codependency Alchemy membership to continue the practice with us and get instant access to our entire library of Shadow Work + Inner Child Healing sessions, monthly AMAs, meditations, and our community chat.
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