Many of us struggle with vulnerability and getting close to people, even though deep down it is what we deeply desire. In this episode I get to witness Aaron, who moved a lot in his childhood and felt like he learned to not get attached because everything was temporary.
How emotional detachment and avoidance of vulnerability are negatively impacting your relationships:
You emotionally pull away from partners when closeness develops, triggering feelings of abandonment in them and causing relationships to end. This is a self-sabotaging pattern.
You avoid meaningful communication and conflict resolution with partners due to fears of abandonment, which can be frustrating to them and really prevents the relationship from growing.
You are unable to be fully present due to constantly protecting against perceived threats of harm from closeness. This denies them (and you) from receiving emotional intimacy.
Your independence and avoidance of help from others prevents reciprocity and mutual care and support from developing in relationships. This will always lead to imbalances in relationships and ultimately breeds resentment over time.
Childhood trauma can leave an inner child part fragmented and stuck in a memory where they experienced pain, and they show up in our present lives through trying to protect us in not ideal ways as an adult— like keeping us from being vulnerable and receiving love and support out of fear that something bad will happen.
Shadow work prompt:
“If I get emotionally close to someone, then..” (what are you afraid will happen?)
I invite you to share your reflections in the comments!
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👩🏽🤝👩🏻 Looking for 1:1 support?
Every month I release a handful of 1:1 sessions to people in the Codependency Alchemy Membership. If you’re looking to receive 1:1 guidance and feedback on your current situation, I would be honored to support you so that you can find clarity, confidence, and direction on how to navigate the relationship dynamics that are negatively impacting you.
When you find yourself emotionally detached and avoid vulnerability