“I just want to say how grateful I am for the monthly check-in today. It was really special to be part of a group of others healing their co-dependent patterns and behaviours. Alyssa you hold such a beautiful space, I felt safe. Thank you! In terms of guilt and shame, being in a group setting really helped remove a lot of the stigma I have attached to shame and feeling ashamed for my co-dependent patterns. I find it difficult to talk about times these behaviours have reared their ugly head in and sometimes tell myself ‘you should know better’, ‘if you tell this story, they’re all going to think you’re a horrible person and you don’t deserve any friends!’ I’m so grateful to those that shared their stories in our monthly meetup, especially regarding friendships and feeling betrayed. I feel proud and brave to be digging so deep into these patterns to become more aware of them and deal with things head on. I’m so happy to have found this Substack!” - Louise (paid subscriber)
In our Codependency Alchemy Meetup yesterday, we dove deep into the topic of guilt, shame, and the fear of being perceived negatively by others. This is a core wound that so many of us empaths and healers carry - the deep seated fear of being seen as a "fraud" or not good enough.
I shared that this fear often stems from lifetimes of persecution, where our ancestors who were witches, healers, and visionaries were shamed, humiliated, and even killed for their gifts. That deep ancestral trauma lives on in our psyche, causing us to be hyper-vigilant about how we are perceived. When someone projects their own insecurities or disappointments onto us, accusing us of wrongdoing or deception, it can trigger this core wound intensely.
